Randomness

Been more than a week since i last wrote a blog.
So many things had happened over the last week.
Some are confusing, some are drastically affecting my very life.

As days and hours pass through, the colors in life are slowly but surely returning to the darkened life of mine.

I am just wondering how long would these joy stay around for? or is it just a brink of joy for me just before i am about to trully die?

I am rather lost in words or thoughts as i still don't know why am i doing this or why am i not doing that and finally, is this really happening to me? i still don't quite understand how all these are working in relation to me.

I really need some guidance in life. I know i want it and i know i really really want it. Even if it would take the rest of my life waiting for it.